


habit

by yolbee



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Family Issues, Gen, Moving Out, Pica, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29362353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yolbee/pseuds/yolbee
Summary: At that moment Jihoon noticed something. He noticed that while he had developed this terrible habit, he was slowly destroying himself.A story where Lee Jihoon is suffering from Pica.
Kudos: 8





	habit

**Author's Note:**

> This story is basically just me projecting myself onto Jihoon. I cant speak for all people with pica since everyones experiences are different, obviously. please do not read this if you get triggered easily!!

Jihoon just came back from school, relieved to finally be out of there and not having to listen to his annoying teachers anymore. He throws his rucksack on the floor and just when the boy wanted to lay down on the sofa, his mother pulls im aside. "Jihoon, there is something i need to talk with you about", she tells him while the boy just stares at her with confusion. They sit down on the table and she looks at him with a sad smile. "Whats wrong?" he asked. Jihoon is actually worried; is mother usually doesn´t act like that at all. "Is it about work?"

His father left their familly when Jihoon was just three years old. At night, when she thought he was asleep, Jihoon could hear his mothers´cries and sobs; she obviously misses him a lot. Since then, his mother was the only one taking care of her son which wasn´t too hard at first, but as he got older, it became harder and harder. The teenager neeeds money for food, clother, school supplies and many other things, but she started to run short on it since she also needed to pay rent and things for herself too. With all those daily hours of work her health just got worse everyday and she was tired. Very very tired.   
"We need to move out of here. I can´t afford living in this house anymore". 

Two weeks later, the Lee household finally moved into a new appartment; it was very small, the doors sqeaked while opening them and Jihoon wasn´t even sure when this apartment got cleaned the last time , or if it even got cleaned in the first place. But it was okay, he thought to himself. He texted a message to his friend Junhui, who was actually the only one to say goodbye to him before moving, before he went to sleep without having even eaten dinner. Or at least tried to sleep, because tomorrow would be his first day at his new school and he was quite nervous. 

When he woke up at eight (he actually managed to get five hours of sleep!) he got ready for school, washing his face, brushing his teeth and putting on some clothes. Before going to school, the boy used to always eat breakfast, but today while opening the fridge, he suddenly remembered what his mother told him. She doesn´t even have enough money for food, he thought, it would be greedy of him to have breakfast now. He wasn´t even that hungry! So he went on his way to school, with nervous thoughts in his head and an empty stomach. 

It took him some time to actually find his classroom. It´s not that the school was really big, he just didn´t have a good sense of orientation; especially when he was nervous. Jihoon, without even noticing it, started to hold his breath as he hesitantly opened the door; all eyes directed on him.

"So you must be our new student! please introduce yourself"  
"Hello", he said ( or maybe whispered) while bowing, "my name is Jihoon and i recently moved here"  
"Okay Jihoon, please sit down next to Jeonghan" the teacher instructed him while pointing at said boy. The loud class suddenly turned very quiet as he walked towards the boy, so he figured that this boy must be a popular jerk or something. But he actually turned out to be very sweet, and he even invited him to have lunch together.

Lunch break came faster then expected, and not going to lie, Jihoon felt very uncomfortable. While he brought two sandwiches and a handfull of oreos, Jeonghan only chugged on a bottle of diet soda. Jeonghan let out a small laugh at poked at Jihoons cheek. "You are chubby, it´s cute", the taller said and at this point Jihoon just wanted to dissapear. He actually never had any problems with his body or weight, but when this boy with sceletic hands and visible collarbones called him chubby, he just got very self concious. Jeonghan noticed the change of atmosphere and with a sheepish smile and a hint of sarcasm he asked him whats wrong. But Jihoon had no answer to that question. After all, Jeonghan didn´t say anything wrong, right? It was just Jihoon who interpreted his harmless compliment the wrong way. 

It was evening then when Jihoon saw that his mother, who was still at work, left money so Jihoon could buy food for himself. the boy didn´t want to spend the money for that though. It would be a waste of money and he already ate two sandwiches and oreos today. But his stomach made growling noises and it was obvious that he was hungry... so while staring through the kitchen and idea just passed his mind. He could just eat those tissues, he thought, Its cheap and doesn´t have calories! So with that thought, he boy went to the kitchen counter and grabbed a pack of tissues. He ripped the layers apart and took a little bite, amazed at how quickly the tissue was dissolving in his mouth. He took another bite, and another, and another... until he had eaten the whole package of tissues and Jihoon finally realised what he had done.He felt so guilty and ashamed. Hes so weird, he thought, how in the hell did he just eat tissues? That´s not even food! 

After that evening, he couldn´t stop thinking of what he did. It was so bittersweet, the way the soft texture of the tissue melted into his mouth, all of this with no calories. While staring through his bathroom, he started wondering how cotton would taste like. So he took the packaging, ripped off a piece of cotton and dipped it into his can of Ultra White Monster Energy, and it was so good! The boy loved the way the cotton was so soft and how it soaked up the enegry drink, it was addicting and it didn´t make him gain weight. Since he started having this secret interest on eating forbidden things, he had promised himself to keep this as a secret.

It sounds too good to be true, doesn´t it? Good taste AND no calories ???  
Hell yeah, because all of these indigestible things he was eating gave him such bad stomach cramps and constipation which embarrassed him a lot. Because of it he cried at night, but he was too scared of eating normal food again - the only things the boy could eat were rice and bread. He dropped weight so fast, in just a month he lost 6 kilograms, but he felt so so weak.His mother was so concerned, his beloved mother... this is the last thing he wanted. Even in the warm weather of spring the boy felt so cold, not only phisically but also in his heart. The boy was so alone, how could he ever talk to someone about this? He was overwhelmed, he just wanted to go back to his old life, he just wanted to cry.   
At that moment Jihoon noticed something. He noticed that while he had developed this terrible habit, he was slowly destroying himself.


End file.
